Eternal Companions by Douglas E. Brinley & Daniel K. Judd

Author:Douglas E. Brinley & Daniel K. Judd [Brinley, Douglas E.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Marriage
Publisher: Deseret Book Company
Published: 1995-08-15T00:00:00+00:00

9

Talking About Sexual Intimacy

Emily M. Reynolds

According to the first chapter of Genesis, the first recorded utterance of God to Adam and Eve was in the context of a blessing: “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth” (Genesis 1:28). Although there are variations among the scriptural accounts of the Creation, this theme is found in all of them. We are left to wonder to what extent, while God walked and talked with Adam and Eve in Eden, they talked about the begetting of children and the relationship that would make that possible.

From such tender and sacred beginnings, the conversation of human beings about their sexuality has unfolded in a wide variety of ways. Stand at the grocery store checkout and read the teasers on magazine covers. You will be hard put to find a single one that doesn’t say something about sex. You will also be hard put to find a single one that still has God in the conversation.

I point this out to make plain a real and pervasive problem that we face as Latter-day Saints. There are many available conversations about human sexuality and sexual intimacy. (I am using the word conversation very broadly here so that it takes in not only things we say but also things we do and see and hear and feel.) It is as foolhardy as it is impossible to avoid participating in these conversations in some way. We marry and enter into covenant relationships. We bear children, and bear also the responsibility of conveying, whether intentionally or unintentionally, an understanding of covenant relations. The ways we talk about these things have profound relational consequences. So an unavoidable question arises: How shall we talk about, and thus involve ourselves in, sexual intimacy?

At this point one wishes for a more detailed account of the walking and talking in Eden. How and what did God teach Adam and Eve about these things? What did he want them to understand as they set out to be fruitful and multiply? Unfortunately, however, it is usually the records of other conversations about sexuality that are most detailed and most available to us. Various religious and ethnic traditions, scientific and psychological theories and data, the unremitting deluge of the media, our own experiences and the experiences of those around us—all offer perspectives that must be sifted and sorted as we consider what sort of conversation we ought to carry on.

Sometimes the sifting and sorting are easy. For example, most Latter-day Saints, when confronted with the rhetoric of the gay and lesbian movement, have little difficulty in seeing that there is something deeply wrong with that perspective. The same is true for stories accepting or encouraging adultery and fornication. Often, however, the ways of understanding sexual intimacy that are actually getting in the way of our relationships with each other and with God do not involve blatant sin and are not so easily recognized.

We are reminded in Moses 4:5 that “the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field.

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